Happy Reunions, Sad Goodbyes

What a wide range of emotions I’ve had over the last few days! It began at the airport as our son came home after a long, four month separation. He had been away for his first semester at college, far across the country. Thank goodness for texting, emails, Facebook and phone calls! Well, our firstborn son, my baby, was coming home and I was so excited! There was a bit of traffic on the way to the airport so we didn’t get there as early as I had hoped. But, God’s timing was perfect. Just as we (my husband, our younger son and me) were entering the baggage area my husband looked up and saw our son entering the area as well. The anticipation had been building for weeks. I caught him in my sight and ran across the room, yelling his name and crying (just like the movies). I was so happy to have him home. I hugged him a lot! What a blessing to spend Christmas with him and have my whole family together under one roof. So that is my happy reunion.

 My sad goodbye, started last night and on into this morning. Over the last four months (yes the same four months my older son was away) we have had the blessed privilege of hosting two international students from China. These wonderful boys lived with us and became a part of our family. They came to America to attend high school where my sons attend. They eat, sleep, study, relax, and have fun with us. They also receive comfort, guidance and discipline (when needed) from us, just like our very own children. It is not always easy, but it always ends up being a blessing! Both boys just went home for Christmas break. It turns out that we will not be hosting them next semester.  One of them will be staying with his family and not returning for second semester and we don’t know when we will see him again. The other will be moving on as well, but he will be able to visit us (hopefully a lot). How quickly our hearts become touched and involved with those who come into our lives. As I dropped one Chinese son off this morning for his flight back home my heart broke and tears flowed. As we hugged we both actually had tears. We said “I love you”, and I told him that we are his American family forever, and I meant it.

 2 Timothy 1:3-4, I thank God, whom I serve, as my ancestors did, with a clear conscience, as night and day I constantly remember you in my prayers. ⁴ Recalling your tears, I long to see you, so that I may be filled with joy.

 

Good Gifts to Share

 

God has blessed each and everyone of us with special talents and gifts with which we can serve Him. Some of us can sing, or dance, decorate, cook, work with our hands, teach, are good listeners, are good with organization, or good with numbers. There are countless unique and individual ways that God equips us. Each one of us has something special in/about us that God wants to use to bless others and bring glory to Himself, as He is the giver of all our good gifts. So take time this week to ask God to reveal to you any talent or gift He has given and wants you to start sharing with others. It could be as simple as calling a friend who God places on your heart, because God knows you are a good listener.

 Exodus 31:3, “and I have filled him with the Spirit of God, with skill, ability and knowledge of all kinds of crafts.”

1 Corinthians 12:4-6, There are different kinds of gifts, but the same Spirit. There are different kinds of service, but the same LORD. There are different kinds of working, but the same God works all of them in all men.”

 

Bittersweet

Last week my oldest son graduated from High School. It was an exciting time; filled with many award ceremonies, banquets, luncheons, parties with family and friends and most significant of all, the graduation ceremony itself. The busyness of so many events kept me focused on the joy of the time, in celebrating the accomplishment and completion of a wonderful phase of my son’s life (and mine as well). The busyness is fading and now the reality that my son will be moving across the country is settling in. I just finished putting a photo album of his high school years together as a gift for him. I am so happy for him and proud of him. He has grown so much over the past few years.  I know that he is prepared for this adventure; I hope I am too. As I look over the pictures my heart is torn between joy and melancholy. As much as I long to keep him close to me, I also long for him to continue growing and following the path that God has prepared for him. Growth and change are healthy parts of life; they are a part of the process needed to develop us into the people God desires. We are strengthened and equipped for change as we lean fully on God. God has brought us to this place in life and He is faithful to lead us onward.  I know God will meet my son’s needs and also meet mine.

3 John 1:4, There is no greater joy than to know that my children walk in the Lord.

Lollipops

As I woke up the other morning I realized I was feeling a bit grouchy, before the day even began. I knew I had to stop it in it tracks or the whole day could go in the wrong direction as I influenced the atmosphere of others around me. Usually I focus on a scripture or Christian song and replay it over and over in my mind, changing my train of thought. Well, on this particular day a different kind of song popped into my head. It was a sixties song that goes, “Sunshine and lollipops and rainbows… and everything that’s wonderful”; Well that put a little sunshine into my outlook. Not long after this little ditty began going around in my mind I got in my car ready to head out into the world. You’ll never guess what song was playing as I turned my car on; “Sunshine and lollipops and rainbows…and everything that’s wonderful”. I had to smile and giggle. God is so in the details of my life (and yours too). Some people write it off as coincidence, I know it is the intervention and blessing of God.  He loves to see us smile; it glorifies Him.

Philippians 4:8

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

Overflow of Peace

Jesus came to bring us peace in our daily lives as we fully trust and rely on Him and His love for us- a love that would die for us.

Life is filled with uncertainty, and change is inevitable for all of us. Change of job, a marriage, a divorce, an illness, relationships, death, birth, moving… Ecclesiastes tells us that there is a time and season for everything, nothing stays the same. And from our worldly view change often brings the opposite of peace. It brings uncertainty, chaos, letting go of the old, stepping out into the new. Change can be very hard. Our first response is to control everything; the process, the outcome. If we can just keep control everything will turn out ok; at least we think. Once things start to go differently than we have planned we are sent into panic.

The only way to maintain peace is by keeping our eyes on Jesus.

 James 1:17 assures us that God “does not change like the shifting shadows.”

Hebrew 13:8, “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.”

John 14:27, Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

As the world tells us we can have peace by keeping all the control ourselves, by controlling our surroundings, Jesus tells us that peace comes as we surrender all control to Him, despite the change in our circumstances. Surrendering control to Jesus is the proof of our faith. Trusting that His plan is best, that He is all-powerful and mighty to save. He promises that His plan is to give us a hope and a future.

     Prayer and constantly going to Scripture for reminders of God’s attributes is crucial to keeping peace in my heart, mind and life. As I am reminded that my God is All-powerful and mighty- He holds the stars in their place, He created the heavens and the earth, He created me. I stand before Him in fear and trembling, not because I am afraid but because I am in complete awe of Him. I also stand before Him as my loving Father who desires the best for me, He guides and protects me, and my life is laid out before Him.

     As I look back over my life it is very evident that God has been with me every step of the way. As promised, He has never ever left me or forsaken me.  Scripture tells me that He knit me together in my mother’s womb. Stitch by stitch He lovingly created me. He has blessed me with gifts and talents, He has guarded and protected my life, He nudges me back to Him whenever I lose focus. I have seen Him actively working throughout my life. And also in the lives of my family through the years.  

I have a big change heading my way soon, and on my own I do not handle change well.

 My oldest son is getting ready to head off to college next fall. My home will change, my role will change.  I must trust God with this change; this new path I am on.

I must also trust Him with the path set out for my son. I must remember that God created my son as well; He knit him together with a perfect plan and purpose. God alone knows exactly where my son is supposed to attend college. Scripture says that I am to “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.”  This means I am supposed to train my boys up to follow the Lord, even if they stray at some point in their lives, God is faithful and He will call them back to Himself. I am also to be guiding my children in the path the best fulfills God’s plan and make up of how He has made them. He has gifted each of my boys wonderfully and uniquely, they are not to be cookie cutters of me or my husband. I am to guide them to fulfill God’s desire above my own.  He knows which school will best suit His purpose for his life, which path He has created him for. I have complete peace with where my son will end up and fortunately my son does too. We are trusting and praying that God will reveal and make His college choice very clear to us. Not my will be done, but Yours Father. Just as God has gotten my son to this place in life, He will continue to be with my son through this new adventure. I have a peace that passes understanding about where my son will go, because I know our Father will guard and protect him and use everything for my son’s ultimate good and God’s glory.

      The part I will need to most work on for peace is the change in my own life; change in dynamics, the empty bedroom. I know though, that God will fill the space in my heart while my son is away. I will cling to the Lord and come to Him often in prayer; I will praise God for His faithfulness; and I will eagerly await those holiday vacations when my son comes home to visit.

2 Thessalonians 3:16, ¹⁶ Now may the Lord of peace himself give you peace at all times and in every way. The Lord be with all of you.

Philippians 4:6-7,  Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. ⁷ And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Isaiah 26:3, You will keep in perfect peace
him whose mind is steadfast,
because he trusts in you.

No Secret

As the mother of two boys ages 18 and 15, I am sometimes asked what has helped me throughout my parenting the most. I mention a few ideas, but always the top of my list is prayer. Sometimes I get the response of a chuckle, like “No, what’s the real secret?” Actually it is not a secret at all. Prayer is available to all. I love it! It means I don’t have to parent or do any aspect of life on my own strength or power. I don’t send up wishes that just get blown along in the wind; mine always turn into prayers to a real God, who really hears me. I don’t try to generate positive energy on my own; I ask God guide and direct my path, and that is always a positive thing! He is my ever-present help; He is my Comforter, my Counselor, and my Savior. He knows my life and the lives of my children better than I do. I seek His face to know His will for us, and then I follow His lead. I teach my kids to seek God for themselves too. My priority for my family and myself is that we are walking hand in hand with God; the rest falls in line after that.

3 John 1:4, I have no greater joy than to know that my children walk in the Truth.

Matthew 6:33, But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.

 Philippians 4:6, Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

Psalm 25:4-5, Show me your ways, O LORD,
teach me your paths;
⁵ guide me in your truth and teach me,
for you are God my Savior,
and my hope is in you all day long.

Understanding Love

We have all witnessed and experienced love in many ways. We have seen it through the enduring love shared between grandparents or parents. We have observed it in the kindness of one stranger toward another. We have felt it through the care of our own parents, relatives and friends toward us. A kind word, a loving gesture, a warm hug, a reassuring and comforting hand hold, a tender kiss, and countless other ways show us the evidence of love.

I wrote the following story a few months back, but would like to share it with you now.

                True love is, putting someone before your self. It means loving them unconditionally through thick and thin, through peaceful times and times of adversity. It means loving them so much that you let them grow and be who they are supposed to be. Fully loving means fully investing a part of your self in another person. For me the greatest understanding of love, true love, came through the birth of my two sons. Having children of my own brought me to live outside myself. It completely changed my focus and priorities. For me it was a huge blessing from God, to have these precious boys so fully dependant on me. Their well- being became my primary purpose. True love is selfless in nature. It puts the other person first. Their wants and needs, their comfort and happiness took precedence over my own. True love overlooks difficulties, obstacles, tiredness, tantrums, etc.

            Sacrifice is a huge part of true love.  Our sons are 2 years 9 months apart, to the very day. When the boys were babies and toddlers they needed me constantly. I spent many sleepless nights tending to my babies (and I enjoy my sleep). One night when our first son was about 10 months old we woke up to a really weird noise coming from his room. I got out of bed and went to check on him. He was up on his hands and knees gasping for air. He sounded like a barking seal. Now this is horrifying for any parent, but especially for first timers. Many parents know about croup, but we were new to the illness.  As my husband and I got ready to take our baby boy to the hospital, I remembered hearing somewhere that cold night air was good for breathing problems. So as my husband backed the car out, I stood on the driveway with out little one. We were both so distraught with worry. We drove with the windows down all the way to the hospital. This seemed to open his airways quite a bit and ease the struggle to breathe. We made it to the hospital and they gave our baby a breathing treatment till he was well enough to go home. The croup continued to be a nighttime problem every time our son came down with a cold. Fortunately the doctor said he would outgrow it little by little as he and his airways grew. There were many nights of sitting on the front porch with our son wrapped in a blanket or sitting on the toilet with the shower streaming. This, I found out was the recommended treatment for a croup attack. These were alarming yet tender moments for me. I wouldn’t have traded holding my son on the cold front porch for all the cozy beds in the world.

               As our boys were growing my role as mom didn’t change, but the way it looked did change a bit. Little by little I have had to take a step back, letting them have space to grow and become their own individual person. I love them so much that I want to keep them young and dependant on me, but I also love them so much that I know I must let them become independent. Each stage they have gone through has tugged on my heartstrings. I can honestly say I have enjoyed every step of the journey. My heart has joyfully skipped a beat with theirs’ and my heart has broken right along with theirs’. True love has great empathy for the other person. You not only sympathize with them from the outside. You are actually pulled into their circumstance and feel the very things they are feeling.

          Each of our sons had a very different first day of preschool experience. Our older son cried for the first couple of weeks when I dropped him off. My heart broke as I saw how upset he was. At first I would sit with him on the floor in his class while he got settled in. Then the time came when the teacher suggested I try leaving him.  The teacher reassured me that the crying would stop soon after I left. It was hard for me to leave, but he did survive. He quickly adapted and has been an eager student ever since. Our younger son had a different response to his first day. He walked into the class, gave me a quick hug and said goodbye. He then happily went to join his new classmates on the rug to play dinosaurs. I stayed around outside long enough to watch him come out of class and head to the playground for his first time. As I watched from a distance he hopped on a little scooter and began pushing himself along. I can still picture the outfit he wore and his curly blond hair. A little piece of my heart went to preschool with each of my sons.  

          Our sons are now 14 and 17. One will begin his freshman year of high school in a few weeks. The other will begin his senior year.  We have just returned from a college tour that took us all the way across the country. Where has the time gone? Throughout the years there have been many times to celebrate with my sons as well as times of disappointment to comfort them through. All I know is that my heart definitely feels connected to theirs’.  As each year passes we all grow and change, but one thing never changes… I love them immensely.

              As each son leaves and goes to college in the next few, I know a piece of my heart will be wherever they are. 

All the ways we witness and experience love is directly from God above. He is love and all love flows from Him.

John 3:16, “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

1 John 4:9- 12,  This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. ¹⁰ This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for^[ our sins. ¹¹ Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. ¹² No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.

1 John 4:16, And so we know and rely on the love God has for us.

1 John 4:19, We love because he first loved us.

Our Soldiers

A couple of days ago my son and I went on a little trip to San Diego. We had a fun-filled, fully- packed day. We walked to the Seaside Village where we enjoyed a mocha coffee drink and a bagel with cream cheese for breakfast. We browsed a few art galleries, admiring all the beautiful and unique styles of art. We then headed over to begin our tour of the USS Midway Aircraft Carrier. My son is very interested in the role that our military plays in the scheme of American history and its’ present. When we arrived at the Midway we bought out tickets and climbed the stairs to board the ship. We were given headphones to hear a message at the different displays all around the ship. This ship was huge! There were planes all around the inside of the ship and all along the top deck as well. My son took a ride on the Dog Fight Simulator; we was doing flips and turns and dives, all the while trying to shoot enemy planes down. He said it was much harder than it looked. We sat on the deck for a presentation given by a retired Naval Carrier Airman. He explained the process for landing a plane on deck; the training and the focus that is required. The lives of many young men are at risk even when training, let alone in a real battle scenario.

I have family members and friends who have served in different branches of the military; Navy, Air Force, Army and Marines. Both of my Grandpas and my Father-in-Law served during the Korean War. My cousin served in Iraq. Another cousin is now serving in Japan. Some soldiers are sent abroad to battle on the frontlines in foreign countries, some are kept at the home front to keep up a vigilant defense ensuring our safety and protection. As we enjoy our daily life, they are risking their lives to keep us safe. My son is a young man who really gets the sacrifice these men and women make on our behalf and the honor that is due them. No matter where we are or what we are doing, if my son notices a veteran or current soldier he will stop what he is doing and go over to the soldier to thank him for his service.  Regardless of differences in political position, I think one thing that should be common to all of us is the appreciation of our soldiers. One of the best ways to honor them is by keeping them in our prayers; asking God’s protection and peace over them.  Another is to personally thank them for their service on our behalf.

Isaiah 41:10, ¹⁰ So do not fear, for I am with you;
do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Psalm 27:1-6

 The LORD is my light and my salvation—
whom shall I fear?
The LORD is the stronghold of my life—
of whom shall I be afraid?
² When evil men advance against me
to devour my flesh,
when my enemies and my foes attack me,
they will stumble and fall.
³ Though an army besiege me,
my heart will not fear;
though war break out against me,
even then will I be confident.

⁴ One thing I ask of the LORD,
this is what I seek:
that I may dwell in the house of the LORD
all the days of my life,
to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD
and to seek him in his temple.
⁵ For in the day of trouble
he will keep me safe in his dwelling;
he will hide me in the shelter of his tabernacle
and set me high upon a rock.
⁶ Then my head will be exalted
above the enemies who surround me;
at his tabernacle will I sacrifice with shouts of joy;
I will sing and make music to the LORD.

Catch My Breath

Like most everyone my days are busy; full of activity from morning till night. I usually wake up at 6 and don’t sit down until it’s time for bed (I do go to bed early though).  I’m sure you can relate. Today has things for me to do as well, but there has been a different feeling about it; less rushed, a more relaxed flow to it. I started my day by sleeping in a bit (very unusual), and then I was off to get myself a coffee treat. After that I headed to the kid’s school for an awards assembly. Then I went to the market... all the usual stuff; but my pace was what made the difference. It was such a beautiful day that I decided to take my dog on a walk to the park; right in the middle of the day! Usually he gets his walks at the end of the day when I have finished my tasks. We walked down to the park and around the park. Then as we were getting ready to head home we plopped ourselves down on a park bench. It had recently rained so every thing was fresh and clean. I sat there with my dog, petting him, listening to my Ipod, staring at the crystal blue sky and the bright green grass and hills around; taking it all in. I was catching my breath from the usual hustle and bustle of every day.  I am finding that things come into a much clearer perspective when I allow myself to sit down and reflect on what is really important, especially outdoors in the beauty of God’s creation where all distractions are removed. I am able to appreciate everything much more. I do not need to feel guilty for taking this time, everyone benefits in the end.

 God doesn’t want us to go, go, go without resting. He actually calls us to rest; He knows we need times of rest so that we can be refreshed by Him before continuing on with our daily tasks.

Psalm 23, the message, ^1-3 God, my shepherd! I don't need a thing.
You have bedded me down in lush meadows,  you find me quiet pools to drink from.
True to your word, you let me catch my breath and send me in the right direction.

Praying Friends

     I just got home from a wonderful two night retreat which was shared with six dear women. What an amazing gift to be able to get away from responsibilities and relax in the company of good friends. On the afternoon that we arrived I went on an invigorating walk with one of my friends. Exercise with a friend goes much faster and is much more enjoyable than going alone! That evening we all gathered around the kitchen island for our dinner. It was a very social meal, as we cooked our food on a little briquette grill and chatted together. Later that evening, after we had our ice cream dessert we settled in for a very competitive, yet friendly game of “Apples to Apples”.  We played until 10:30 or 11 pm. Our neighbors may have thought we were having a wild evening with all of our laughter; well the game can get pretty wild.

    The next morning after breakfast we came together for a focused time of prayer.  It is such a wonderful blessing to be among friends you can trust, and know that they have your best interest at heart. They actually hold your heart as they help carry your burdens and celebrate your joys with you. To some this may sound strange, but we prayed for hours. The time passed quickly as we prayed. We took breaks throughout our time together; a break for snacks, a break for lunch and then another break for cookies. There was lots of sharing, encouraging, laughing, crying and eating throughout our prayer time together. Friends who pray for you are the best kind of friends to have. You know that at times when you don’t have the strength to pray for yourself, they will pray for you. It is an amazing blessing to walk in faith together, as you bring your requests to God. A friendship based on humble faith in God is one that will bring eternal blessings beyond measure.

Proverbs 18:24,  A man of many companions may come to ruin,
but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.

Hebrews 10:25,  Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

⁹ Two are better than one,
because they have a good return for their work:

 ¹⁰ If one falls down,
his friend can help him up.

New Year, New Opportunity

I can’t believe it is a brand New Year! Last year wound down very nicely, with lots of Christmas parties shared with family and friends. We stayed home this year and hosted all of the family gatherings. It is such a blessing to spend time with loved ones, many of whom we see but once or twice a year. The end of the year is such a busy time; buying gifts, making food, eating food, decorating the house, etc. All good things, but lots of things and all at once; leaving me a little tired, but very happy.

         When the New Year rolls around I am ready to clean house, literally.  I am ready to put the decorations away, tidy up, take a break from eating too much, get back to exercising and also make time to just put my feet up. For many people The New Year is the time to make resolutions.  Because the New Year holds so much promise and hope, it is seen as the perfect time for a fresh start.

          One of my sisters came up with a great idea last year; she made a list of eleven things she’d like to accomplish for the year 2011, calling it “11 for 2011”. Her list is not so much resolutions, but fun activities she’d like to do.  Two of my favorite things on her list were “going apple picking” and “riding the ferry to Coronado Island”. This year for her “12 for 2012”, she plans on “taking a simple sewing class” and “visiting a new city”. Most of the ideas are very inexpensive.

       I have made up a few of my own lists for the year.

The first list I call, “Working on Me”. This list has some goals I’d like to work on for improving myself.  It has the usual ideas such as eating healthy, and exercising, but I also added goals such as, “worry less, pray more”, and “get rid of anything I don’t use, or isn’t sentimental (like old bottles of face cream).

       The second list I call, “Things to do”. This list has a few major tasks I’d like to accomplish during the year, such as “put all my sons’ baby photos onto the computer”. This will be time consuming, since they were pre-digital babies, and their pictures are on real old-fashioned photographs.

        The third one is inspired by my sister’s list. I haven’t started it yet, but I think I’ll call it, “Fun to have”; I like her idea and I plan on making up a little list of my own; for now I will probably start with just a few activities. It will probably involve hiking or riding my bicycle. My real hope is to have more fun in the everyday stuff I do. Time passes too quickly to not enjoy every little moment.

          You know what is so wonderful? The same fresh start that we feel every New Years, God offers to us every day. So if we mess up on our resolutions after just a couple of weeks, it doesn’t mean we should give up and wait till the next January first to try again. Each day is a brand New opportunity to improve ourselves (with God’s help), get things done (with His strength) and have more fun (with His joyous perspective).

Lamentations 3:22-23

 The faithful love of the LORD never ends!
His mercies never cease.

 Great is his faithfulness;
his mercies begin afresh each morning.